Golden Shower

One of the most important lessons that a young Hostess learns, and usually in a rather grotesque way, is to never accept what a passenger is handing to you without questioning what it is first. In my years, flying human beings have tried to hand me many a disgusting item including hand towels in which they have used to wipe their ass with, dirty diapers, bloodied tissues and false teeth (yes, I kid you not, false teeth!)

However…… today I flew with a young and eager Hostess who had not learnt this lesson as of yet.

As the plane was pushing back and getting ready to take off an whisk our beloved passengers up, up and away, I sat in my jump seat and witnessed a Father pull out the sick bag from the seat pocket, whilst his wife pulled down their young sons pants and training diaper in order for the young toddler to urinate into the bag.

Now being a more senior crew member I should of warned my fresh-meat colleague seated at the door opposite mine what I witnessed however, I must have forgotten (actually I had decided earlier on, that I just didn’t like this long legged, giselle-like know-it-all).

Once the seat belt was switched off, we jumped up ready for another day and another tray I watched as a Father handed the urine-full bag to my colleague and in slow motion film-style I watched her accept the bag from him as I stood to one side, with a huge grin, rubbing my hands in glee, like the evil caraacter in a cartoon.

Holding the offending bag with both hands, she questioned the father as to its contents. In which he replied “My Son had an accident”.

Now, I am unsure as to what she thought the accident was but she released her manicured fingers from aroud the top of the bag. I watched the bag fall virtically down, landing upright an inch infront of her well polished shoes. The urine inside of the bag exploded upwards into a light golden volcano covering my young colleagues stockinged legs.

I watched on in shock as she froze and then suddenly threw both hands up towards her face, covered one side and screamed with horror, shock and disgust for all in the cabin to witnessed “IT’S IN MY EYE. IT GOT ME IN THE EYE!!!’

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