Cabin Crew Secrets Part II

Bark for me…. Sit doggy, SIT!!
We are landing. We have walked through the plane making sure your seat belts are fastened and that window blinds are open etc. We, ourselves are sitting in our jump seats and then you decided to stand up. But obviously you enjoy having people shout at you “SIT DOWN” can you bark whilst you roll over too DOG?

I’m on the phone!
Seriously, you can see me holding the phone in my hand, clearly speaking into it, with my voice booming through the cabin saying sentences like “Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen” and you think its a good idea to try and ask me a question at this time! Then when I point at the phone you have the nerve to tut and roll your eyes! Hold on a bloody minute……. Why don’t I just give you the phone and you can broadcast your (probably stupid) question throughout the aircraft!

Emergency Exits Part II
You’ve got on the plane and congratulations, you’re seated at an emergency exit!!!
Wahoo!! I welcome you on board, explain to you your responsibilities of having this seat (ya know, if we have an emergency landing then you become my bitch and do as I tell you).
I also tell you no bags at the EMERGENCY EXIT and ask you to place them in the overhead locker.
Two minutes later when I return and see them still there I offer to put them up for you (what did your last slave die of?) when you answer one of the following:
you didnt tell me they had to go up.
It’s just a small one, what’s the big deal?
Or the one that really makes my blood boil
I’ll just keep it on my lap.

are you simple??? I just told you how it works, you said ok! Now put it in the god damn hatrack before I open the door and throw it on the runway as the plane is taking off!!


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