Earlier in the year I was in a hotel in Indonesia and had spotted a smallish gheko in my room when I checked in. During my teenage years I had dated a guy who used to keep lizards and knew that this little gheko would cause no harm so decided I would capture him and release him onto the hotel balcony.
For 45 minutes I climbed, I dived, I smashed two of the hotel glasses and laddered my stockings trying to catch this little bast/lizz-ard with no luck, so eventually I decided I would phone the hotel Reception and ask for help.
This is how my conversation went:
Reception: Good Evening Reception, how may I help?
Me: hello, could you please send someone to get a lizard out of my room?
Reception: But madam, he is harmless!
Me (sweaty and p*ssed off): I don’t care, I don’t go to his room!
Surely they’ll get rid of him knowing I’m p*ssed off
Reception: obviously not madam, he wouldn’t be there, he’s in your room!
Hmmmmmmmmm……… who said only English can do sarcasm!